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Kindness is rewarded, but if you are cruel, you only hurt yourself. This ancient proverb is over 3,000 years old, and medical science is proving this out. A study published in 2012, called “The Neuroscience of Sharing” by Jessie Poquerusse showed kindness benefits the giver as a result of the release of neurotransmitters responsible for the feelings of
I thought this was a very interesting proverb. Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave. As I thought more about this quote, the more I began to realize I am a slave to many things. Before we get into my issues, lets unpack this quote some.
Criticizing yourself, beating yourself up, feeling sorry for yourself and disappointing yourself is not the best way to motive change. Feedback is critical for a person’s success, but negative feedback is demoralizing and defeating.
We all need to have validation in our life. Validation is critical to our development as human beings. Criticism is a form of invalidation. Self-criticism is devastating. Self-criticism hurts us mentally, spiritually and physically.
Let us get started on a few tips and techniques on how to move from negative feedback to positive feedback. Yes, with others and yourself.
We all have the same amount of time. Everyday, we have 86,400 seconds. The secret of the 86,400 is effective time usage. How effective are you using your time?
Some questions to ask yourself:
- Do you routinely complain about being busy?
- Do you have uncompleted projects that never get finished?
This is most powerful statement in the world.
How would your life be different if you were told this everyday by your parents? Growing up where love existed and was not dependent on your actions or results. Having the ability to make choices. Having the ability to fail and knowing you were still loved.
There are certain cars I have desired to own. The Ferrari 246gts. I have liked this car since high school. Everyone thinks the new Ferrari’s are great, but the conversation between Roger, the Ferrari salesperson and Memphis from the movie “Gone in 60 seconds” best describes my feelings:
You would not be a self-indulgent wiener, sir… You’d be a connoisseur.
I joke with my sons about this saying. They both have elaborate zombie apocalypse plans. I have learned about zombies by listening to their plans.
Zombies are pretty simple creatures. A zombie is bereft of consciousness and self-awareness. They eat and walk around. People, who are not zombies, try to avoid them. Any resemblance to your place of work is purely coincidental.
In college, we all increased our margins. Word processing tools had a really cool feature. You could increase your margins from one inch to one and half inches. A four page paper instantly became five pages.
We focused on the length of the paper, instead of the content of the paper. We spent times working the system, instead of developing the skills we needed.
In life, we have a tendency to focus on the wrong margins. For many, margin is defined as the difference between income and costs. We focus all of our energy and time on increasing our margins. The challenge, is I have never seen a tombstone with a balance sheet.
We have all heard the story of the dash. The beginning and end dates do not matter, but the dash in the middle is what is important. What did you do with your dash? How did you live?